getting back at it....

Well, I see it has been awhile since I wrote. Let's see, since then, there has been two youth camps (our family went to one and only dh and ds1 went to the other), and many many other things that I wish I could on about here, I can't. But, nevertheless, we can say, things have been exciting!!

Next week we have our first of two meetings for our association. Morning Light Home Association will give us more freedom in fundraising and doing some other community projects for families without too much gov't eyes. While we totally understand the gov't need to be involved, we minister in an area that they don't want the affects of it to be public. Does that make sense? Way back when attempting to start all this, we had the name "unwed mother's home" in our title. We found out later that that was not approved, yet they didn't come out and tell us, it was one of those things that they felt they didn't need to tell us.

I often feel like we are a "bad" dream to the gov't here. First, we are doing a work that they don't want to get involved in. Simple. Unwed mother's to them, are low in society. Social workers have been quoted as saying "if the mom is young, unmarried, pregnant and low income, I will only suggest abortion."-.-  That says alot doesn't it. Funny how the gov't knows what we are doing and social workers will say to a momma "go find Deana Pan at this number and address, if she can't help you then come back to us."LOL!!! At times I think they feel we will quickly go away. BUT they can say that in the last two years, they have had less than 5 abandoned babies. We work with the moms and she has a responsibility.

God is so wonderful to us. Each time we feel tired, exhausted, look at the lack of $$, God in HIS goodness shows us at the right time something else. This month alone (yes, I know we are not through July yet) we have counseled at least 2 moms a week. Some are sad stories and really put you into reality.  God is showing us, this is why you are here My child. There are women in need, women in crisis, women who say I don't know what to do, no one wants to listen to me, I can't tell my family I am pregnant............the list goes on. As we minister as God wants us to, in other areas, God is bringing up families and friends who are supporting us through material and financial needs. Our financial needs are great, there is no question about that. But God is letting us know little by little that HE is in control. We need to keep our focus on the ONE who holds tomorrow.

At times I have been afraid to post things. I am not one who is going to post baby pictures or momma pictures. I will though tell their stories. I had not posted because I know that there are people who feel they need to be our enemies. But God has been leading me, letting me realize...........All things work together for good to them that love him.....We rely on a God that owns the cattle on a thousand hills....He could sell a few and we would be fine:-).....really, all that to say..........I hope to share more as time allows. God is good, all is done for HIS glory, not done through me but through our mighty Savior Jesus Christ!!!!

WHAT A WEEK!!!

but not complaining.....I love seeing families together!! I love sitting and chatting and hearing all that God has done for their adoption and all they have learned about their faith via adoption. They love hearing stories of moms and how God is using MLH/CPC in lives here and about the burden God is giving us.

It is things like this that give us encouragement. For our team to see the baby in his/her parents arms, the joy, the tears, the laughter.......how refreshing it is!!

There is a fundraiser blog at:  http://livinghopetaiwan.blogspot.com/  so please check it out. This blog will stay because as we get more and more ministries, it will be more and more of our family and ministry together. The other one will be fundraiser blog. I was informed that the group Calling Levi has already sent cd's and t-shirts for fundraiser drawing!! YEAH!!! we have some more coming....if you have anything or know of someone who can help in sending it out, let us know!! The more money we have the more we can serve!!

We have a name for our baby center: Garden of Grace....I can't wait to share all about it. We have volunteer teens for the summer and just had a rundown of everything. So excited!!! GOD IS WORKING!!!

Stay tuned!!

The countdown

Well, it is Saturday. Sometime this morning, Luke, Joshua and Jeremiah will put our center banner on the front of the church. I wonder if this will bring more attention to the center. Previously we were in an alley, so not like people saw it all the time. Prayers that this will allow those moms who need to see it, to see it. The great thing is: it is 5 blocks from the hospital. While the hospital does not prefer to do abortions, it does first trimester abortions. Who knows, someone might see it and think. That hospital knows us, so we are going to ask about putting up our posters in the ob/gyn section.....prayers please!! any lives we can save!!!

I am nervous.....we don't know how many to expect for Monday morning. Alexia says 20-30....AHHHH!!!.... I have to get up and go through our power point about what is a crisis pregnancy center, who we minister and why...Wuli has the rest:-).

We also have to have our "plans" for the 6months for the gov't. Well, I. DON'T. KNOW!!! We would like to have a speaker from another CPC come and do some teaching in our area......we would like to have someone come and talk about post abortion counseling.

We are starting Morning Light Assoicaition. This will help tremendously as that will allow us to do fundraisers here in Taiwan. So we can fundraise for Hagar's House and/or our babycenter. We will see how God leads.

We see God doing so much. Walking by faith is not easy, but it is the safest. It is a spiritual battle right now. I have read some recently in Proverbs and it talks alot about not envying the rich, watching your mouth (ok, that is my rough translation) and the like......alot seem to point to the situation at hand and say "do what you are doing, don't be mean, just trust in God for HIS riches are more than you will ever know."

So, we will keep going. Please pray for Monday (we have alot to clean up now at church!) and pray that this week we can minister to at least one new mom.....just one new mom......that is our prayer.....will you pray for that too? I will let you know when we meet her:-)

And so it goes.....

Well, we made it through a year! God has been good by leading us through our trials and fears and showing us HIS promise of never leaving us is always true.

The past weeks have been rather exhausting, emotionally and physically! Really, when you are emotionally down, it wears you down physically. Between the heat and moving, blah!! yesterday, well, I felt like a walking zombie (hopefully didn't look like one!!).

As it happens, RARELY MIND YOU, a momma did not show up for adoption court date. Wuli had been trying to contact her, we even sent her train tickets! yet, no show. I apologized to the judge and she understood as our moms are normally on time and very cooperative. The judge made another court date and all we can do it keep on the mom to come. She hasn't answered our phone calls though.

Why? I don't know. Her reasons could be numerous. I understand her 3yr old was sick and that could be it. Her dad was just diagnosed as being a vegetable, she could be upset about that. Could be she doesn't want to face the fact of adoption. Lots and lots of reasons and could be's. But I do know that no matter what, she needs your prayers!! All of our moms do. Could you stop and pray for moms in the program today? Unfortunately I don't have the freedom to tell you how many and what not, but pray for the moms being counseled by MLH. They are in crisis, struggling with decisions and over all just needing the extra support. So today, pray for the mommas and their hearts!

On a better note......we have fundraisers in the works!! Two or three musical groups are donating cd's for our fundraiser!!! so stay tuned!!! all are going to keep the cpc ministry going!!!soooooooo........if you know of anyone else who wants to help or can help.....let me know.....keep an eye out!!

Movin' on Up!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


On the move!!!

There are only a few things that are scheduled (baby appointments and such), but other than that, it is a rare quiet time that we can use to move. The walls are looking bare and boxes are everywhere (hey that rhymed!), and the move begins. I really despise moving.....



We have reached an agreement to finish out somethings with our previous sponsor, though what we thought were things that we could continue to use for the ministry, they have said they will give us a date or two when they want them back. Those items were purchased not donated. So, families who thought their fees were helping the ministry, it only helped to a certain point. Sad, but if they feel like that must be done to make them feel better, I know our God owns a cattle on a thousands hills......HE WILL PROVIDE!!!



This has all been very testing. I will be honest again and say how discouraging it has been and how tiring it has been. There have been times where it is like "what do I do? what do I do?" Trying to keep from making emotional decisions are quite hard for women!! I want to make decisions that God wants us to make.



Yesterday though, as I was cleaning out things, I found something that Luke made for me after I got back from my first trip to Taiwan. We were not "boyfriend/girlfriend" yet, but he sent me a calligraphy of my favorite verses, Isaiah 43:1, 2 "But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. "



Maybe it was God reassuring me? I don't know. That frame is sitting in my office now. I found comfort in that first as a freshman at Bob Jones University when our family doctor did test and it said that I had cancer of the lymphnodes. THOUGH at surgery, it was a staph infection (doesn't God have a sense of humor!) But that verse brought special comfort to me then and it still does now.



Recent events have given our staff the feeling that we were drowning, physically and emotionally. All the decisions to make, how will it affect the ministry, where will we get the money, will we have food on our tables this month? etc......money suddenly dropped is no laughing matter. But again and again, God brings that verse in Isaiah to me. Along with I Corinthians 10:13 "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." God does not give us more than we can bear, we may not think we can bear it, but we were never asked to bear it alone, and better yet, God has an escape plan:-)...



So, as we go on our next chapter in our ministry to women, please be with us in prayer about our needs. Fitting that this all comes about as our 1yr anniversary shows up!!!



"To God be the glory, great things He has done!"

So much to think about....

I will be quite frank and say that this past week has been very discouraging. Satan has used more than one way to eat away at me and the whole staff!! In the course of 7 days: Jeremiah (our only man at the office, he is maintenance, driver, helps with outreaches, body guard  on long travels or court cases, etc!) has a 3 yr old daughter who fell while playing with her brother and ended up in the ER. She had a humungous gash in her toungue and the doctors only did not due stitches because no one was sure if she would cooperate (I don't think most adults would!!), he ended up eating something bad and has had stomach pains and such for 72hours now, my Noah started his vomitting issues on Tuesday (6/7) and was in the ER for fluids for 8hours,  Alexia was at the ER with her 4yr old due to high fever. Wuli so far has not had any major issues with her family, but she would covet everyone's prayers!! Add that will heat bringing on the attitudes. Everyone anxious just to get the moving over with!!
Yup, we move to the third floor of the church over the course of the next few weeks. Praise God we have found some second hand stuff for it. Unfortunately, what we thought were donations or help for the ministry eneded up not being quite what we expected. So we were told that over time, those things "purchased" with their money we either had to give back or we could buy them back. Well, since we are nonprofit too and money is not just sitting their waiting for us to spend, we figure we will give a big hunk back and then go from there. We did have someone say that they would see that we got 3 window unit a/c so I am really praying!! We will definetly be loosing some weight through sweating though!!!

Sometimes when we look at the whole picture, as humans tend to do, it is so discouraging! I have to loook to see how am I going to pay my staff, pay rent and utilities for the momma's home this month. Yes, MLH/CPC now has to find a way to pay for those so we can continue to service women in crisis. We cannot count on it from someplace in the USA as before.

This also puts everyone a bit on edge. Everyone needs to eat and pay bills. Everyone has sat and talked about what to expect and what to do. Words cannot express how thankful I am to our Lord for the team HE has brought to me! We discuss everything openly and freely. It is not my team and my ministry (as someone falsely accused me of saying), but God's. It is because of it being God's that we are where we are at now.....so, the issues we have now, maybe they are just crossroads in this journey of serving our Lord. One thing we know, our Lord does know where the roads are headed and that is comforting. Of course, if He would give me and idea of what is going on that would be helpful:-)  

Please keep us in prayer. Pray for wisdom, endurance, strength and ability!! Pray for funds to come in in a timely manner. We need roughly $8000US/month to keep it going!

Young Moms

Today Wuli and I travelled a total of 5.5hrs, roundtrip, to visit a mom. She is 18yrs old and just delivered. Her aunt called us to ask for help. First, we are so thankful that they heard from us via an Ob/Gyn clinic! We had sent over 100 letters to clinics up and down the east coast with our brochures and news about what we do and all. So thankful that this doctor gave them the information.

First, the mom's mom and aunt met with us. Their decision is pretty much set, but after a bit, the momma came down. She delivered yesterday afternoon. At first, she just sat there starting at the table, wiping away the tears that fled down her swollen cheeks. Her aunt and mom tried to get her to talk,but she wouldn't. She wants baby. She feels the family SHOULD take care of it and all live happily ever after (ok, that part was me being sarcastic!).  She did not finish highschool, was working some, but at her age, she could only make 1/3 of what regular minimum wage is. Her mom is a widower, her older brother a police officer. She is the only girl in the family, as in the relatives. AKA....spoiled and did what she wanted to. Boy's family, divorced and both parents remarried, married and divorced, a few times each! He never attempted highschool. She commented he couldn't come visit her because he has forgotten to check in with his probation officer so was locked up (he is 17rys old!).
We got to a point where it was obvious she was not going to talk, nor was she about to be given a chance. I engaged her aunt and mom in small talk while Wuli, who was sitting directly across from her talked to her. In the end, she was continuing to say she wanted to keep baby. She seems to have it all figured out. Wuli gave her her name card and she refused. Tears were flowing and anger and bitterness were setting in.

Our center's goal is and has never been adoption. When dealing with unwed mother's we will have the unwanted babies. Our first opinion is that babies and moms stay together, that is what is natural and what should happen. After counseling and their own personal evaluation, the decision that is made is respected. Our work is to make sure they have the proper information to make wise decisions and resources available to help them with their decision. That is who we are and what we are called to.

Please pray for this momma. We do not know what the final decision is, we do not know if we will even hear from them again. But we showed them that we cared, and the adults could see that. We told them that we just want to show the unconditional love that God has given to us.

We'll see what goes on tomorrow.

It is one of those Mondays.....

We headed off this morning to a high school in Cheng Kung to teach Worth Waiting For. We taught 5 periods, and probably most of the school. I was saddened by the "lack" of innocence in the younger classes. Really, if it was my kid, I would be flabbergasted! But knowing that these kids come from poor backgrounds, and mostly are tribal children, I was not shocked. Knowing that they also probably have never heard the Gospel, was also saddening to us. But we are thankful that we could get the news of us out there and different areas via internet to reach us.

The school counselor was sharing with us about how alot of boyfriends/girlfriends live together. Unfortunately, that did not shock us either. Sometimes, I am saddened that these are no longer "shocking" things to me.  It seems like it is happening more and more in the society here. I really do not know what to say at times other than, I am not suprised.

We are so excited, there are some grants that we seem to qualify for. So please keep us in your prayers that we can get them. We will need funding. I hope to get a chipin button done soon, but am at a loss as to how much to start with!  There have been many of you who have already given generously and we are so thankful. We also have so many plans in our brains.

First, this week we meet with a new mom, please pray for her. We are hopefully moving our center out soon. We will be moving to the 3rd floor of our church, saving $350US in rent!! hopefully though, that will allow us to have more activities as well. So much going on. The church needs some redoing too, so that will take some time.

Well, hoepfully I can write some more at another time. This blog will be open soon, but I wish I could still see who sees it! But, oh well, we know that we want this blog to reach those who need to see it.

Thank you for your prayers again!! keep them coming in!

BIRTHDAY BASH!!!

Well, if you followed us on FB, you will see we started out the "cry" for "1st birthday" funds. I will be putting a ticker up soon for Birthday Bash funds. We are hoping to raise some money to cover the costs of things. We will be moving our center to another place soon as well, ok, our church!! 3rd floor, so that is going to need some help, but I think we got that covered. We are excited, yet nervous about what is going to be instor for us. So much to do.

So, how much do you think we should try to raise for the "1st birthday bash"? also, should it be throughout the summer? I am coming on to this a bit late....so....we'll see...... suggestions?

what to do...

Well, first, I want to say that we have been so encouraged with gifts that have come in here and there for the ministry. There have been somethings that God has used to talk to us, well, at least to me about and emphasize somethings.
As I write this, I am totally exhausted, feeling rather tired and dizzy. Not sure why, though I know that this week holds some special work that needs to be done. It seems like due to some recent events, we have to start this ministry all over again from scratch. But what does that entail? will we have the resources to do that? Who to talk to? where to go? what to do?
This blog will very soon go public. It will be a mix of family and ministry, though we will try to be mainly focused on ministry. We have to get the news out there about resources needed for our work. You all will soon enough hear news, so I am not going to "blow" it:-). Though in Taiwan, the Ministry of Interior is wanting to change the adoption status, meaning, emphasizing domestic. Ministry of Interior has stated that they have plans to have their new regulations made into law to go into affect January 1, 2012. If that does happen, we no longer do adoptions. Ministry of Interior wants to control everything, even those who do domestic and international adoptions. It is sad that no one is considering the children in Taiwan. Taiwan regulations want to keep ONLY healthy infants in Taiwan and the rest go international. That will cause a number of problems, but the main ones I see are: Taiwan society doing away with special needs children or making them an outcast, and what defines special needs (currently ADHD children are special needs). There are lots of things that the gov't has not set up yet, and just wants to go with it. So, this will need lots of prayer!

Here at MLH/CPC, adoption has never been our first ministry. It has been and will always be to the women in need, women in crisis. So, with adoptions soon to be out of the picture, that leaves us without resources. That sounds bad, but everyone knows our resources were coming because of the "donations" via adoptions. So we need to show others around Taiwan that our needs are for women in crisis. Crisis means alot of things to everyone. Crisis pregnancy could be due to age, special needs, health obstacles, number of children, finances, etc. But one thing for sure is that women in crisis pregnancy NEED love and support no matter what. So, that is our goal.
MLH/CPC is soon to be one year old. We are looking to raise money for rent and needs for the cpc and home. We have new future goals, new plans. We also have God on our side. I am excited about what is coming, but I can't share right now. God is working. God can work through you and your community. Please be praying about the future and what you can do.

Ok,  I need to get off here, but hopefully these next few weeks I can write more. Thank you all for your prayers!!
****PS...we just got a phone call from an 18yr old,please pray for her!